I have never been so amazingly aware of my own vanity as I have been lately. Don’t get me wrong, I have no illusions of achieving supermodel status any time soon, but with the right makeup, the right clothes, and the right hairstyle (or at least brushed!), I can honestly say that I look OK.
Looking tidy and well put together seems to be especially important when you are a plus size gal, like myself. We already have so many strikes against us. People look at our large frames and assume we are lazy and don’t care about our appearances. It is a struggle to find, and be able to afford, good quality clothing in our sizes. Admittedly, it is a little easier for me now that I’ve lost the majority of my weight, but I am still in the plus size realm. If anything, it’s more difficult because my body is in a strange place right now, with a lot of excess skin around my middle but looking “normal” everywhere else.
It’s also been an interesting time for me because of all the attention I’ve been getting since my gastric bypass surgery back in April. My hair was changing color at the same time as my body was changing, so my physical transformation was extremely noticeable. I have received so many kind comments and so much encouragement from people that it has been overwhelming. What is even more amazing is how it seems to be increasing rather than decreasing. I had assumed that once the novelty of my weight loss wore off, no one would notice or care anymore. Boy, was I wrong!
Last week, my daughter, who is a gifted makeup artist, visual artist, and photographer, took a picture of me on our deck in professional clothing and makeup to help me look more like an executive for this blog and my social media accounts (the pic will be uploaded on here soon!). We posted it on Facebook. I had expected maybe a few people might “like” it….family, friends, etc., maybe 20 people or so. The response I got was immediate and so touching. So much love and support in the comments section, much more than I had even dreamed I’d get. The funny thing was, I hadn’t thought I looked that good! Not because of anything my daughter did…she can make anyone look great with her skills…but because of my own vanity. How could I possibly look good with my wrinkled face, my white grey hair, my less than perfect body, my discounted clothes, my drug store knock-off makeup, my Cost Cutters hairstyle?
But, somehow, I did. I don’t understand it, but somehow that picture showed people that I am proud of how far I have come in my journey and the joy and peace I am getting from the Lord as I walk through my life with Him, making the changes He points out to me. God has been so incredibly good to me, forgiving me for all my faults, giving me countless chances to start over and make things right with Him and all the people He puts in my life.
Maybe that’s where real beauty comes from.