I have never been really good at handling change. Not even good changes. You see, I have always been a creature of habit. I feel most secure when I am in a predictable situation and can give a reasonably accurate guess at the expected outcome.
I think that’s one of the main reasons I had stayed in my unhealthy habits for so long. They may have been bad for me but they were familiar. Whether it was my horrible eating habits, poor spiritual quiet time, or even just basic laziness, it was my pattern and I was going to stick with it, no matter what.
This year has seen a lot of changes in my life. Some of them I am adjusting to better than others. I have learned to control my awful eating habits. It’s kind of a necessity or I can get really sick! I am slowly but surely working toward moving beyond my comfort zone and taking chances on fulfilling my potential.
But sometimes I have a meltdown and am filled with all kinds of doubt and insecurity. Why would God want me to actually have what I’ve always dreamed about? That’s a fairy tale reserved for other folks, not people like me. Right?
Maybe I’m wrong.
Maybe God’s dreams for me are bigger than my dreams for myself. Why would He put a desire in my heart just to yank it away? Why is it so hard to imagine He would actually give me something I’ve wanted my whole life?
I guess I have to be willing to accept that change is necessary in life, especially if I want to grow. I’m willing to work for my dreams to come true. Now I also have to be willing to let God give me opportunities to stretch my territory and develop the gifts He wants me to use.
I wonder where these changes will take me…